What your roof rack says about you

Some people believe that you can tell a lot about a person by looking at their hands. Others say you need to look into their eyes. Lisa's Mum looks no further than a person's roof rack. She has kindly agreed to share her wisdom here in exchange for a cucumber sandwich and a pot of earl grey. Mum's wisdom doesn't come cheap...

The Rear Rack
You like a challenge and think nothing of dangling 4 kids' bikes, a tricycle and Dad's road bike off the back of your car. After all, that's what occy straps are for. You can't put them all on the roof anyway-  that's where the roof box with Mum's nordic walking poles is. You enjoy watching the terrified faces of drivers behind you while you're doing 120kph on the Hume.
Favourite destination: Seaside holiday parks

The Roof Rack (whole bike)

You either own a race convoy vehicle, or are good at remembering not to drive into underground carparks/Macca's drive thru/your carport. Alternatively, you are just too lazy to take off your front wheel each time you drive somewhere. You're probably also quite a tall person, or drive a really short car.
You try to avoid: Driving in crosswinds or under low bridges

The Roof Rack (fork mount): You back yourself to remember to strap in that rear wheel buckle, despite that third coffee. You also back yourself to remember to put your front wheel in the car boot rather than leaving it by the side of the car and subsequently backing over it. Primary qualities: Self-belief and self-confidence.
 Handmade: You are a resourceful chap (or chapette) with a cheap bike and an even cheaper car. You think bike insurance is a waste of money and you re-use tea bags. Favourite tool: Welder.

Your extreme rebellious streak is matched only by your intermittent forgetfulness. As you lift your bike onto the roof of the car, you are sure that it weighed a lot less before the race. Must have been all that mud. It's hard to tell - you forgot your glasses. Now where's little Johnny?