The Famous Five and the Canberra Tour

Sometimes when I get tired all I want to do is look at pictures, not words. Also, my sister and I are in the midst of writing a children's book and I need to practise my children's writing skills. So I enlisted the help of Greg Long from Greg Long Photography, and my VIS teammate Sarah Roy's 'Memoroys', to tell the story of the Famous Five (aka the Jayco-VIS girls Kendelle, Roy, Jo, Lisa and their coach Donna)  at the Canberra Tour:

The Famous Five were fresh from the Summer hols and ready for a jolly good time taking on smugglers and eating lashings of energy gels in Canberra.

(c) Greg Long Photography 

'I don't think we'll find any smugglers out here in Stromlo Forest Park,' mumured Jo doubtfully.

'Woof!' said Timmy.

'What was that?' asked Donna.

'I think it was one of the Bundaberg Sugar girls,' said Kendelle. 'They're trying to distract us so they can attack and win the tour. I know, we'll attack first in the opening crit and take them by surprise.'

(c) Greg Long Photography

Bother!' said Lisa. 'Those girls were onto us from the beginning. Now we'll have to spend the next 45 minutes chewing stem and bleeding from our eyeballs. That is a jolly old bore.'

'Woof!' said Timmy.

'Who keeps making that noise?' said Donna

(c) Greg Long Photography

'My, that was a smashing ride,' said Roy. 'And Kendelle came 3rd! Let's celebrate with tea and lemonade and then go sit in an ice bath for 14 minutes. Hurrah!'

(c) Memoroys

The next day, the Famous Five went back to Stromlo and did a 114km road race in the morning followed by a 20km time trial in the afternoon.

(c) Greg Long photography

'My goodness,' said Lisa. 'I feel like somebody has taken to my legs with a hammer and smashed them into a million pieces. But Jojo came 3rd and is looking jolly good for tomorrow. Let's all sit in another ice bath while Donna washes our smelly kit.'

'Jolly good idea!' agreed the Famous Five. 'You're a brick, Donna!'

That night Lisa had nightmares about her time trial.

(c) Greg Long photography

On Sunday the Famous Five rode out to Stromlo again in the fog (ideal conditions for smugglers), and raced the 84km final stage road race.

The Famous Five did their best on the final stage, but they could not peg back the time needed to move Jojo up on GC - although Kendelle put on a jolly good show in the road race and earned the team's Lazarus Award for her rise from the dead.

'What a smashing weekend! said Roy. Let's all go home and eat lashings of steak sandwiches on the way.'

'Jolly good idea!' chimed the Famous Five. 'Let's go sit in the car and eat salty treats while Donna drives for 8 hours. You're a brick, Donna!'

'Woof!' said Timmy.

Next: the Famous Five ride to Lorne!

Lisa's Mum wraps up the Tour of Canberra

Lisa's Mum loves Canberra because she enjoys driving around in circles and believes buying fireworks for domestic use is a right, not a privilege. So it was with great delight that she travelled with us to Canberra. It took us a while to wedge her onto the roof racks of Supercoach Donna's station wagon but that is the price you pay for being a hitch-hiker.
Mum was very impressed with the calibre of ladies racing the tour. Miffy Galloway in particular stomped the house down. And Grace Sulzberger proved that while she might not be called Wes or Bernie, she can bring home the yellow jersey just as well as either of them.
But mostly, Lisa's Mum thought the VIS ladies team was a tight and supercool bunch, with an awesomeness rating exceeded only by the awesomeness of Roy's mum's date and banana loaf. Jo timetrialled like cancellara, Kendelle turned into the super domestique from hell with a stomping stage 4, and Roy proved that lacking a time trial bike was no obstacle to riding a kicker time trial (11th in a national series race, anyone?). And Lisa introduced everyone to the joys of a steak sandwich with the lot, so everyone went home happy. Mum found the AIS ice baths a little cold for her liking, but you cannot have everything Mum.

And now, as Supercoach drives us home along the Hume, it has begun to rain. We must be nearing Melbourne...

ToC stage 1

The VIS strategy for stage 1's 50min crit was to burn enough energy that we could make a decent assault on the AIS dining hall at dinner tonight. With rumors circulating that apple crumble might be on offer, the team knew it was all or nothing. And so we attacked. And attacked. Even a local Canberran magpie in the spring would have been proud of our relentless aggression.

It appears that many other teams also had some kind of dining hall-themed plan and the race was particularly aggressive. Big up to Loren Rowney who won the final kick ahead of Bec Wiseak and VIS' own pocket rocket Kendelle Hodges.

Now for the real stage 1- dinner and an all you can eat buffet! Now the real attacks start...

Ride Happy

Stage 1: Breakfast

As I said before, it's all about the AIS dining hall. Canberra Tour will be conducted in and around sessions in the dining hall. It will be tough but we are tour riders and built for eating endurance.

Today's stage (breakfast) began with an attack on the bircher muesli. The bananas and berries counter-attacked to no avail. Just when the field began to falter, a late surge by the cinnamon bagel took out the stage.

Bunking Down In Canberra

> Maybe it was the 8-hour drive. Maybe it was the caffeine withdrawal headache. Maybe it was the questionable combination of compression socks, Birkenstocks and shorts that I chose this morning. Whatever it was, there was the undeniable feeling that a race was approaching. And so it was that team VIS arrived in Canberra, ready for Canberra Tour tomorrow. (That's Roy and Kendall in the pic below, getting too excited to sleep)
>
> I love tour racing. I also love the AIS dining hall. The two are a match made in heaven and go together better than Roy and food photographs. You will hear further updates from me on both. (Maybe, if the racing part of our trip isn't going so well, you'll hear more about the dining hall.)
>
> First stage is a 50min crit tomorrow afternoon at Stromlo. In Ride Happy tradition I'll try not to dwell on the racing part too long. After all, we have a dining hall visit to prepare for.
>
> Ride Happy

Bunking Down In Canberra

Heading to Canberra

Wasn't Easter a cracker!! Andy is back in Australia, the weather gods smiled on us and my body held up for some great training around Bright, in north-east Vic. It was so good to be back riding pain-free and on the way to building some semblance of form. We mixed up some good mountain riding around Mt Buffalo and Mt Beauty with a couple of mtbs in Bright and Beechworth... and a lot of coffee drinking. Paradise. We are also planning what to build on our block of land at Porepunkah (yes Stack we're building a bedroom and barista station just for you!).

On Thursday I head to Canberra for Canberra Tour, the second national series race of the year. It will be a good tour - the organisers have made it even harder than last year. Team VIS will have all 4 riders (me, Jo, Kendelle and Roy) and Supercoach Donna at the helm. Looking forward to it.

Ride Happy

Blog comment of the week: Mildred from Eketahuna

Mildred sharpening her pencil

Some of you Ride Happy followers out there will be aware that you can leave comments at the end of these blog posts. What you may not be aware of is that these comments get emailed to me and it makes my day
to open my inbox to a comment or two from readers.

I just got the following comment, which was instantly catapaulted to #1 on the All-Comers Record for Most Intriguing Ride Happy Comment. It was in response to a post I wrote in January 2010. I've reproduced it below because it deserves a wider audience. I then googled 'Whole Smoked Chicken Elite Cycling'... and sure enough my post was there. For her efforts, Mildred from Eketahuna wins an albino unicorn dressed in diamonds. If you have a comment, Lisa's Mum would love to hear from you.* 

Dear Lisa's Mum 
Gosh, well I must say, old Anonymous there, he's a hard act to follow...clearly hangs on your every word!! Anyway, I realise that if one wishes to comment on a blog post, it is customary to do so within a less than geological timeframe, however I must beg to be excused for my lack of timeliness, having only just stumbled on this post (as a result of Googling "Whole Smoked Chicken Elite Cycling"). Being a mid-race-whole-smoked-chicken-snacker from way back, I would like to share my experiences with yourself.
I may often be found hurtling along with a headless chicken on a solo training ride, or winging it at the beaky end of the peloton in a race. So remarkable is the performance enhancement enjoyed by those of us who have discovered this potent sports supplement that, rumour has it, WADA is considering classing it as a banned substance!! (although my informant assures me that rich chicken casserole, spicy chicken kebabs, smoked chicken flavoured cheese fondue and other popular chicken-based mid-race power snacks are not at risk of prohibition). 
May I respectfully add that I find your quibble concerning alleged portability difficulties with whole chickens somewhat 'nit-picking'. Myself, I find that a stylish wire handlebar basket serves splendidly as a receptacle for a whole size 22 chicken or even a small turkey. Moreover, a chicken so carried is located perfectly for munching on in motion without abandoning the aerodynamic posture. Once the preserve of Miss Marple types tootling around quaint English villages, nowadays, a wire handlebar basket is a 'must-have' accessory for the serious competitive cyclist.
Inevitably, as effective a weapon as the 'WSC' has one or two trifling drawbacks: for example, the delectable aroma emanating from one's laden handlebar basket can attract the unwanted attentions of fauna such as vulchers, wolves, dingos and bears (subject to location) and one's chicken may even be the target of theft (total or partial) by passing cyclists!! However such annoyances are simply obviated by investing in a deluxe wire basket featuring a hinged, padlocked lid.
Best regards
Mildred from Eketahuna

*While I think of it, if your name is Anonymous and you recently left me hate mail because you didn't like the tale of Ali Baba and the 40 Triathletes, Lisa's Mum would especially love to hear from you because it's been just soooo long. And triathlon season is over so you must have lots more time now to write hate mail. 

Mersey Valley Tour - NRS race #1

OK guys, this isn't much I know but a report is coming! And maybe some photos if I can find them. Mersey Valley Tour was last weekend and the VIS girls gave it a nudge. I was 3rd on GC and teammate Jo Hogan 4th. Both of us were pretty sick and under the weather so very happy with the result. Teamies Sarah Roy and Kendelle Hodges did awesome domestique work, and I owe Roy a beer for making her sick too. Sorry Roy. I will let you in on a little secret... I almost didn't start stage 3 on Sunday because I was feeling so terrible, but Davo put a pack of throat lozenges on the finish line so I had to complete the race to get to them. In the end it worked out well. I got in a breakaway that stuck (the best kind of breakaway) and we got enough of a gap to propel me to 3rd on GC. Final results: 1st: Tarryn Heather (the woman to beat right now!); 2nd: Grace Sulzberger (also QOM); 3rd: moi.

If you happen to find half a lung on the side of the road in north-west Tassie (more specifically at the base of the final climb on stage 2) please return to owner, one L.Jacobs.

And if you see a llama on the main street of Sheffield, DON'T TAKE A PHOTO unless you want to pay for it. I have nothing against animanl cruelty but I've a feeling it doesn't get paid an appropriate wage for posing for photos with tourists.

Allez Andy!

Usually, I save Ride Happy for riding stories, but I thought the adventure-seekers amongst you would want to hear about this. My boyfriend, the lovely Andy (aka Mocky) has just finished the Arctic Circle Race in Greenland. The ACR is billed as the toughest cross-country ski race in the world. It's 180km of skiing around the Arctic Circle over 3 days in minus 30deg. The marshalls ride alongside the race with rifles to stop polar bears from attacking you; they give you seal blubber (that's right, seal fat) at feed stations; and at the end of the day you have to CAMP IN THE SNOW. And it's so cold that your snot freezes when you sneeze...

Bless you

It is a race for Hard Men and Hard Women only (like those on the posters in the Mountain Gym in Mt Beauty). Needless to say, I opted to cheer him on from the warmth of Australia. Andy is a pretty handy skier and used to spend his summers racing the world cup circuit in Europe. Back home we were very excited to hear not only that he had survived, but he had come 5th overall behind some eskimos and overall winner Ilya Chernousov from Russia. Allez Andy! The race organisers thought that Andy was from Austria, not Australia, so I emailed them to tell them. To make the email worth reading for them, I also told them that in Australia he was known as The Flying Kangaroo and had recently finished 3rd in Celebrity Masterchef behind Crocodile Dundee and Bindi Irwin. They didn't mention that in the race report though.

Just your everyday commute in Greenland

 Andy and his Dad get home on Friday. It's been 8 weeks since he's been home and he flies in a couple of hours before my flight leaves for Mersey Valley Tour in Tassie, hurrah! We'll be able to find out how seal blubber compares to airport coffee. 

Andy in a warmer climate