Lisa’s Mum has been at it again. Fresh from supervising the CWA scone tent at the Royal Adelaide Show, Mum headed straight for the Chrono des Nations, where she caught up with David Millar’s legs enjoying a well-earned rest after setting a new course record for the TT. Please excuse any errors & omissions in the interview transcript, those legs sure do have a strong Scottish accent.
Lisa’s Mum: Mr Millar… um… Mr Legs… um, David. Sorry, what should I call you?
David Millar’s Legs: Well wee lassie, David has lots of names for us. Sometimes, we’re his Mortar & Pestle. Other times we’re his Bread & Butter. Lately he’s taken to calling us the Scottish Thighlands. But you can just call us DML, which incidentally is our rapping name, for when we pursue a career after cycling.
Lisa’s Mum: OK, DML it is. Now tell me, you’ve had a massive month. Gold at the Commonwealth Games in Delhi, 2nd at world champs, and now a new course record for Chrono des Nations. And a tidy 10th at the Vuelta time trial to boot. How are you feeling?
DML: Well, obviously, we’re happy. I mean, mostly happy. We’ve been able to deliver for David when he really needed us, so that’s good. But we’re a bit disappointed too. We rode our guts out for him and do you think we get any recognition? No! It’s all “preparation” and “discipline” and missing rear breaks and stumpy helmets. Where’s the “Well, I am happy to accept this win but it was my legs who really delivered today”?? How do you think 2 legs are going to share one gold medal? The problem with this sport is that there’s too much emphasis on the individual. No one cares about the team around him who brought him to the finish line first. We’re just cannon fodder to him.
Lisa’s Mum: Really? Do you think David doesn’t care about you? What about all those rubs?
DML: Oh yeah, we do get looked after. I mean, we are high performance animals after all. We get shaved regularly and once a month we get a little exfoliation. And sunscreen. Boy, do we get a lot of that. But all we’re asking for is that one day in cyclingnews.com they put up a picture of us, and not his face. What did his face ever do? It’s not even aero!
Lisa’s Mum: There must be other parts of David that contribute to the win. What about his heart? And his head?
DML: Lady, his head was the idiot who got him into all his doping trouble. Granted, it got him out of it too, but it’s got a lot of brownie points to make up yet. As for his heart, well, I guess it does do some work but it also gets to carry the medal at the end of the day, right? You put a picture in the news and there it is, front page centre. Such a media hussy.
Lisa’s Mum: So where to from here then? Do you have a nice end of season break lined up?
DML: Oh, do we ever! First we’re going to hit the beaches in Thailand. Then we’re heading to Scandinavia for some ice fishing. We want to do some volunteer work too, you know, to give back to the community. Maybe volunteer teaching in Africa.
Lisa’s Mum: Wow. Does David know about these plans?
DML: As if! David goes where we take him. And he owes us too, so he’d better be booking us business class seats.
Lisa’s Mum: DML, this has indeed been an illuminating interview. Thanks for your time.
TTop Day for Durbo and Pooley
If you’re anything like me, you’ve spent today frantically re-booting the cyclingnews.com live feed on the U23 men’s and women’s time trial. I’ve been on the edge of my seat. When Luke Durbridge and Rohan Dennis were sitting 1-2 in the order I was so excited. Both spent this year as members of the Jayco Skins U23 AIS team in Europe (aka the gold medal factory). They are machines. I know Rohan from my SASI days but Durbo I met for the first time when I was over in Europe this year. He’s a fun guy. Both have already achieved so much on the bike – track and road – and it’s incredible to think they’re still getting better. Look out, world!
The women’s TT was awesome. Alex Rhodes, Shara Gillow and Vicki Whitelaw did us proud. Shara’s ride in particular was spectacular – 8th!
Emma Pooley (Gr Britain) dominated the TT and won her first world title by a fair margin. What a ride! Emma has had a great year and went into the TT as one of the favourites. To pull off such a commanding win under such enormous pressure and expectation is impressive. And she is a Top Chick, so you can’t help but be happy for her.
I can’t let her win pass without recounting to you my favourite Emma Pooley story. In stage 7 of the Giro Donne, which was one of the big mountain stages, I was climbing the second mountain pass of the day with a small group consisting of a couple of Italians, a couple of Dutchies and a crazy Russian who kept hammering it. We had been dropped by the lead climbers (including Pooley) but were ages ahead of the grupetto so we were just getting the day over with. The conditions were blisteringly hot and getting up the mountain was a chore. At the bottom of the climb, the crazy Russian snapped her chain and with no team car in sight we were down to 5. Around halfway up the mountain, one of the Italians turned to the other and blabbed something in Italian. I can’t understand Italian, so what I heard was, ‘blah blah blah Emma Pooley: do-di-do-di-do-di-do!’ and she pretended to tap up the mountain like she was frolicking in the park. It was hilarious – I almost fell off my bike. Some things don’t need a translator.
Enough of this computer re-booting – I’m off to Geelong! See you there. Ride happy
It's Not About The Blokes - Aussie women's team preview
Hi guys, just a quickie from me but you’ll have to go to www.cyclingtipsblog.com for your Ride Happy fix today… I’ve done a guest post previewing the formidable Aussie women’s team for worlds. CyclingTips is one of my favourite cycling websites and Wade has some excellent behind the scenes Worlds articles so check them out if you get the chance.
P.S: Also, this is probably not news to regular readers but if you’ve just jumped on board, let me introduce you to regular columnist Lisa’s Mum. She’s controversial, she’s a loose cannon on the keyboard… and she IS NOT REAL. My poor Mum will never hear the end of it.
Lisa's Mum presents The Non-Cyclist's Guide To Cycling
Today's post (I say this like I write them everyday...) is for a good mate of mine from college, Trupti. I caught up with Trupti and a handful of uni friends last night over dinner. My friends from college are some of my dearest - it's hard not to become close when you spend 3 or 4 years living with each other. Since leaving uni, though, it's been hard trying to keep in touch with everyone, especially my non-cycling friends. I seem to spend all of my spare time now riding, or thinking about riding, or trying not to think about riding. There just aren't enough hours in the week for drinking red wine and catching up with friends.
Anyway, last night I was chuffed to discover that Trupti was a Ride Happy reader. But some of the cycling lingo in my posts is just plain hard to follow for someone who isn't into racing. This was clearly a job for Lisa's Mum. I unlocked her from the cupboard under the stairs, put a cup of earl grey in her hands and set her to work. So here it is Trup - Lisa's Mum's guide to cycling lingo, especially for non-cyclists:
- Classics: A type of one-day race in Europe in the Spring, usually combining rain, sleet, mud and cobblestones. Not in any way classical.
- Tours / stage racing: A big race run over multiple days (or 'stages'). If you think of one day races as the racing equivalent of slamming your hand in a door, stage racing is when you take your hand out of the door, then put it back in and slam it again, over and over. The winner is the one who slams their hand fastest.
- World cup: The highest level of racing, comprising a series of one-day races held over the year. The winner claims the title of world cup champion and the losers claim that they were never really targeting it, anyway.
- Bleeding from your eyeballs / Scraping the bottom of the barrel of hurt / In the box: Essentially, you are f*cked. There's no other way to put it. Your lungs are probably screaming, but you can't hear it because the screaming from your legs is louder. You would sell your own grandmother to make the pain stop. I've tried.
- Chewing stem / humping the top tube: Similar to above, but it's much more drawn out. Comes from the position of a cyclist's body towards the end of a race when they have absolutely nothing left in the tank. Bent over double, a spectator could be forgiven for thinking they were trying to unwrap the tape on their handlebars with their tongue.
- Ergo: Something Melbourne cyclists do a lot of in the winter, involving a stationary bike trainer and an ipod. Not a lot of fun if you're doing it because the weather's too rubbish to ride outside. Hence the latin expression: cognito, ergo shit.
- Intervals: A particular type of training exercise, often quite difficult, done multiple times in the vague hope that it will get easier. It doesn't. (See also In the box, above)
- Soigneur: If you translate it from French, it means 'trainer', 'groomer' or 'one who cares for others'. Really this is because the French have no word for 'Team Mum'. The soigneur washes, cooks and cleans, picks up your dirty shoes and kisses your grazes when you fall off. Everyone knows that without them the team would fall apart, but no one wants to give them a public holiday once a year in May... because who would wash the bidons?
- Form: Everyone wants it, you know when you've got it, but I'd be buggered if I could tell you how to find it.
- Coach: Helps you find Form (see above). Also provides lifestyle, career and relationship advice, if you're lucky.
- Race wheels / carbon clinchers / titanium bolts / Super Record: Things that will cost you a lot of money and a few awkward moments if you and your non-cycling partner share a bank account.
Next week: Eur-wrap up #3 - Back To School
Until then... ride happy
Eur-wrap up Part II: The skinsuit
Getting hard core in the off season
I’ve been back in Australia and my office desk for a bit over a month, and after some quality time away from my bici we have patched up our differences and are back together. So apologies for the blogging drought – I’ve been off doing other things.
Some of those things include getting settled in at the VIS. In the last 3 weeks I’ve seen their doctor, physio, strength & conditioning coach, physiologist, masseur and nutritionist. It’s nice to have the luxury of having some breathing space now before the next race target, which is nationals in early January. It means I can really get back to basics and iron out all those niggles I’ve been keeping under control during race season. Despite what the ID man at Liquorland says, I am getting OLD. And with the Melbourne weather being as charming as a slap in the face from a polar bear, now is a good time to get into the gym.
One of my favourite core strength activities is pilates. I was introduced to it last year when I got injured for 6 months. I had a very frustrating year in 2009 – I had some blinding form, and then I got injured for pretty much the entire racing season. All my mates were overseas doing amazing things and I was stuck at home feeling sorry for myself. Getting injured for that long is a real headcrack and there were 2 people in particular who really helped me through it. The first was Andrew Wynd, who now heads up Balwyn Sports & Physio Centre in Balwyn. The amount of time he put into my rehab was incredible. Wyndy has spent his fair share of time as an elite athlete himself and is now keeping busy managing everyone else's injuries at his clinic. If you have a sports injury, I really recommend giving him a shout.
The second was Marcus Speed at Perfect Pilates in Brunswick. Everyone has their favourites, but I think he is the best pilates instructor in Melbourne. It helps that he's a cyclist too! Marcus used to take the pilates classes at my old work gym and, when I couldn't do anything else except rehab exercises, twice a week I'd rock up to his classes. I started off pretty crap and inflexible, but slowly got better, and my pilates classes became the highlight of my week. Marcus went out of his way to give me help and encouragement and it really helped get me through a very difficult period of injury, mentally and physically. It's also improved my core stability no end, which is a big thing for a bike rider. I now count pilates as an essential building block for my training. When I went to Europe I missed it so much that I had to put in an emergency call to Marcus, who sent me a heap of 'pilates homework' to keep me going. Now that's service! Marcus has just invited me to be part of the Perfect Pilates family and this week I've been to a couple of his classes. If you want a good hard workout, try his Thursday 5:30pm sessions - if you can do all the exercises I'll send you a free St Mel Ride Happy t-shirt!
I’d like to say all this gym and core work is for self-fulfilment, but to be honest I’m motivated by a deep-rooted fear that I won’t be able to hold Jo Hogan’s wheel at our next training session. Man, she is GOING! I’m really looking forward to racing as a team with her and the other VIS chicks, Kendelle Hodges, Steph Hansen and Bridie O’Donnell. They are a top bunch of girls. We haven’t all been in the same place at the same time yet so I can’t wait to get out and have some good hard racing together.
Till then, ride happy
Gunz
Eur-wrap Up: Part I - The Local Rider
It's been a couple of weeks since the Giro and the end of my first season of racing in Europe. There wasn't much time to unwind afterwards and within a couple of days of finishing the Giro I was back in the office in Melbourne, squirming in my powersuit and trying to remember how to put on make up. It's good to be back, and once I stop feeling like a steamroller has run over me, stalled, and then backed up for good measure, I'm sure I'll be itching to race again. But right now I'm still pinching myself that I was over there at all, and struggling to believe that it wasn't all a crazy, fun, exhausting dream.
I promised I'd write a wrap up of Europe and here it is. Or maybe we can call this Part I, because there are so many stories to tell that I can't fit them all here... and judging from my boyfriend's reaction to my 3-hour monologue, some of my stories aren't as exciting as I think they are. So maybe small installments is the way to go.
I've been meaning for a while now to share with you my story of the Local Rider. This makes me giggle just thinking about it, in the same way that you giggle when you remember the time when you walked out of that restaurant with toilet paper trailing out of your trousers.
During the Giro, there were a number of jerseys awarded - leader's jersey, mountains classification, sprinters' classification, young rider etc. Especially towards the start of the tour, I still couldn't recognise most of the famous riders, so the jerseys were quite useful in helping me know, for example, which one Marianne Vos was. But it was fair to say that I still had some trouble knowing some of the riders apart. So anyway, there we were in the middle of stage 2, and this GIANT of a rider comes near me in the peleton, wearing a hideous bright purple jersey. She's giggling, bumping into people, apologising, giggling again, and generally looking like a walrus in the pack. So I was looking at this rider, and the jersey, and trying to work out which team she was from. The jersey was pretty plain - just horrible and magenta, with 'Safi-Pasta' written on it. It reminded me of some of the jerseys I wore in my early cycling days, when I was too poor to buy a team replica jersey, and too crap to get a sponsored one. The knicks gave me no clue either, as they were just black with no team logos. They reminded me of the generic knicks they gave out in the Tour of New Zealand a couple of years ago to riders in composite teams.
Then I realised. This wasn't a team rider at all. This was a local rider, whom the organisers had allowed to ride in the Giro as a gesture of goodwill to the people of Italy. It had to be. How nice, I thought. Here is a local rider, doing her best to fit in maybe a ride a week down to the shops, whose dream it was to race in a big race but who would probably never have had the opportunity or talent to do it. And sure, she can't ride - I mean, there she was, bumping into people, knocking handlebars, laughing - but good on her for having a go. She is probably having the time of her life. I made a mental note not to go near her, and spent the rest of the stage thinking kind thoughts about the generous spirit of the race directors.
It wasn't until after the stage, when we were in the team car heading to the next hotel, when we started talking about some of the riders and the jerseys they were wearing. There was Ina Teutenberg in the leader's jersey, some chick in the mountains jersey (sorry, no disrespect intended, I just can't remember who you are), Marianne Vos in the young rider jersey, Kirsten Wild in the sprinters jersey.... Hang on, I said. Bronzini was in the Sprint Queen jersey. I saw her. It was blue.
Oh no, the girls said, Bronzini was in the blue jersey for the highest-placed Italian rider. The Sprint Queen was that awful purple jersey. Kirsten Wild was in it. You know, rides for Cervelo. One of the best sprinters in the world. Black knicks, bright purple jersey. Unbelievable rider. Coming second in the world cup standings. But boy, that's an ugly jersey.*
*PS - Congrats to Local Rider for winning the latest world cup in Sweden last week.
A post for Pete
This post is for Pete Lockett, to keep him amused and out of trouble. Pete rescued me 2 years ago in his trusty Subaru when I came off my bike training one morning before work and broke my collarbone. It had been a rough morning. My training mate Jacqui and I had gotten up way too early in the Melbourne winter, and had braved the cold out to do our regular morning session on Kew Boulevard. 10 minutes into our ride we saw a dead cyclist. The ambulance guys told us that he had had heart failure while riding, and it was a fair shock to see the poor guy, still in his kit, on the side of the road.
The emminently sensible Jacqui decided that that was enough for one morning and headed home, while I decided to keep going. Half an hour later I hit something on the road, went over the handlebars and that was it. Andy was up in north-east Victoria at the time, so I called Jacqui to drive me to hospital. Jacqui's car was at the mechanic's, so it was Pete to the rescue. Those guys were amazing. They drove me to the hospital, told me jokes while I was in triage, nursed me through my morphine-induced haze and then drove me an hour away to Monash to get surgery. And they never once complained that I had made them late for work.
So it's fair to say that I owe Pete one. I owe him and Jacqui especially for fast-talking their way into securing me Melbourne's best shoulder surgeon, but that's another story. So when Pete sent a text reminding me that it had been a while between blog posts, I thought this might cheer him up.
Onto today's blog. The highlight of my day today, without doubt, was discovering that I have made a Top Trumps card. For those of you who do not live in the UK, just be assured that not only is this hilarious, this is A Great And Special Honour. Podium Cafe did a special 4 part series entitled 'Women's Cycling Top Trumps'. Each of the parts profiled 5 or 6 riders and put each of them on a mock trading card (this is the Top Trumps bit). I got a guernsey for their Riders Who Blog section. Check out their other parts, The Sprinty Types, National Champions, and their Best Of... section.
A big high-five to 'Pigeons' who posted the article. Pigeons, today you made the 2 years I spent as an overworked trainee lawyer in the UK all worthwhile, because it meant that now I know what a Top Trumps card is, and you gave me a great laugh today. I am also impressed by your extensive knowledge of my background and I shall view my neighbours with more suspicion now. I am not sure if you are in cahoots with the crazy Greek guy who lives in the block next door and peers at me through his curtains, but if you do can you get me some baklava?
Ride happy
I am wearing streamers at Nationals
Lisa Jacobs (#126) and Emma Mackie (#127) from Australia have been fined 100 Euro, 1x case of beer and the hummilation of starting the 2011 Road Race National Title with streamers attached to their bicycles.
This fine has occurred due to the actions of Kirsty Broun, Amanda Spratt and Carly Light..., who easily inhaled one balun pizza at Della Monte Pizza resturant on the evening of July 16. Photographic evidence was obtained and will be sent shortly. Along with the photos of the rich chocolate, pear and pistacchio birthday cake that was then eaten upon return to Castronno.
Sorry to inform you of this news,
Regards,
Chief Commisaires; Carlee Taylor, Lauren Kitchen and Shara Gillow
The Wager
I've just arrived back in Melbourne, and I am due back at work tomorrow. I've got Donna's permission to lie low for a few weeks, and the only exercise I plan to do this weekend is some cross-country skiing up at Lake Mountain in Vic. I'll write a Euro wrap-up soon, but for the moment I'm looking forward to having a complete break from the bike.
I could not, however, let this week go past without a mention of The Wager. The night before I left for Australia, all the girls went out for pizza at Della Monte restaurant in Varese, to celebrate the end of the Giro. Della Monte is famous for its 'Ballun' pizzas (see above), and I have attempted 3 times now to finish one off. That night marked my 3rd attempt. I had been confident, after 10 days of racing the Giro, that a Ballun would be no match for me. I may or may not have expressed this confidence to the other girls. I was wrong.
The girls did not let this failure go unnoticed. In fact, I think the whole restaurant heard all about it. To cut a long story short, a gauntlet was thrown down and The Great Ballun Challenge of 2010 was born.
The challenge is thus:
- Madames Kirsty Broun, Amanda Spratt and Carly Light will attend Della Monte Pizza Restaurant at some date before the end of July 2010 (This date has been set as Sunday July 18);
- Each will order and receive one Ballun pizza;
- Each must consume said Ballun wholly, without interference or assistance from each other or any third party. There is no time limit for eating;
- If all 3 girls successfully finish their Ballun, they will receive, from Emma Mackie and myself
- 1x case of beer
- 100 euro
- and will have the pleasure of seeing Mackie and I ride the 2011 road nationals with streamers attached to our handlebars.
- If K.Bru, Spratty and Barky fail to complete their Balluns, it's reversed - i.e Mackie and I get 100E + a case of beer, and they have to put streamers on their bikes at nationals.
The trash-talking has started, and both teams are confident of winning. I have to say, I thought we were pretty safe until I saw that crazy look in Spratty's eyes. Now I'm not so sure. Either way, I'm disappointed to be missing the action - although I'm confident Chief Commissaires Carlee Taylor, Lauren Kitchen and Shara Gillow will oversee proceedings in our absence. It's not about the money, it's not about the beer, it's not even about the pizza... it's all about the streamers.
Stay tuned for results... or just rock up to Buninyong in January and see who's wearing the streamers.
Ride happy
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