Some of you may remember reading the letter to Lisa's Mum about the $15,000 starter kit commonly bought by statesmenly types of a certain tax bracket. Or maybe you read her reply (if you haven't, you may need to for the rest of this to make sense).
On reflection, Lisa's Mum appreciates that not every aspiring cyclo-philanthropist wants to carry out their good deeds in broad daylight. Rather, some CPs prefer to carry out good deeds from afar and in secrecy. Going into a bike shop in person would simply blow their cover. Instead, they make their purchases at the dead of night, via the internet and a secured server that keeps their true identities covert. Lisa's Mum calls these generous souls 'Ebay Power Buyers'.
Many of these EPBs are so shy in their generosity that not even their partners are aware of the riches they bestow upon humble Ebay sellers. Lisa's Mum has even heard of some EPBs opening secret bank accounts so that their partners will not find out! A more generous gesture you could not find.
Now, Lisa's Mum calls upon EPBs everywhere to band together to help out a cyclo-philanthropist who has fallen on hard times. This gentleman* decided to support his local bike shop by buying a Cervelo P3. Soon, his generosity overwhelmed him and he could not stop. On and on he went, buying deeper and deeper rims, and more and more carbon. He got so busy supporting his local bike shop that he did not even have time to ride more than 200 miles on his new bike. This went on until one day, the US government contacted him about the worldwide shortage of carbon fibre and asked him to stop buying so many wheels. After that, the cyclo-philanthropist's cover was blown. He lost his wife (she could not see his unselfish motives), his job (he worked for an inner-city design collective and they could not abide the multitude of gears on his bike) and his dog (who went to live with his wife). Now destitute, the CP has been forced to sell his beloved starter kit on Ebay:
Lisa's Mum hopes that there is a cyclo-philanthropist out there who can help this man out. She notes that his $14,500 price tag falls well within the $15,000 starter kit price bracket and gives you an extra $500 to spend on postage and mixed lollies. She also wishes this CP well as he rebuilds his life and she hopes that one day he can afford another starter kit, but perhaps with SRM this time.
Big thanks to Rosco for alerting Lisa's Mum to this tale of woe.
*or perhaps gentlelady, but I suspect not.